The Incredible Shrinking Bill
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2008
Highlights include a sidelining injury, what it feels like to be obese, and Bill in a sports bra.

Starting weight: 400 lbs?
Weight at the end of this period: 380 lbs?


First quarter of 2009
Highlights include meeting Miss USA, kicking a bad habit, and musing on the similarities between dogs and girlfriends.

Weight at the end of this period: 370 lbs?


April 2009
Highlights include allergic reactions, hunger pangs, and sexually charged comments about Aunt Jemima.

Weight at the end of this period: 360 lbs?


May 2009
Highlights include walking a half-marathon, falling out of a canoe, and daydreaming about Freaks.

Weight at the end of this period: 348 lbs.


June 2009
Highlights include walking a 67-½ mile route around the entire Virginia Peninsula, playing Fat-Boy Chicken, and getting punked by a fake, dead Goth.

Weight at the end of this period: 333 lbs.


July 2009
Highlights include walking across Virginia's middle Peninsula, downsizing two pants sizes, and being hobbled by an imaginary groundhog.

Weight at the end of this period: 321 lbs.


August 2009
Highlights include meeting Mr. Peanut, being mistaken for a woman, walking through a movie studio lot, and sleeping in a dog bed.

Weight at the end of this period: 312 lbs.


September 2009
Highlights include hydroplaning on a football field, flying in a WWII open-cockpit airplane, and getting over a weight-loss plateau.

Weight at the end of this period: 307 lbs.


October 2009
Highlights include hiking the Mount Vernon Trail, almost burning down a hotel, and throwing a 100-pound party for all the weight lost.

Weight at the end of this period: 300 lbs.


November 2009
Highlights include hiking 50 miles from Richmond to Fredericksburg, being hobbled with plantar fasciitis, and making out with a mermaid.

Weight at the end of this period: 311 lbs.


December 2009
Highlights include abducting a concrete pig, making an ass of myself at a holiday party, and being asked by a woman I didn't know to pay $60 for "It."

Weight at the end of this period: 295 lbs.


January 2010
Highlights include walking the length of Virginia's Eastern Shore, hand-crafting a Windsor Chair, and boozing it up in Temperanceville.

Weight at the end of this period: 293 lbs.


February 2010
Highlights include being stuck at home due to mountains of snow, building a sunbathing snowman, and once the weather finally turned and I was hiking again, discovering some true Southern hospitality.

Weight at the end of this period: 297 lbs.


March 2010
Highlights include walking 109 "official" miles, the longest monthly total yet, crossing two state borders, and dining on local cuisine at each town passed through far too much.

Weight at the end of this period: 302 lbs.


April 2010
Highlights include visiting Virginia Tech on its Day of Remembrance, stumbling upon a country store where mountain men play bluegrass on Friday nights, and fantasizing about the weatherman...though not how you might think.

Weight at the end of this period: 302 lbs.


May 2010
Highlights include walking the last link in my route from the North Carolina border up to Washington D.C., encountering a bear in Shenandoah National Park, and getting naked in public without getting arrested.

Weight at the end of this period: 308 lbs.


June 2010
Highlights include visiting a vanishing island, getting my fortune told by a psychic, and walking until the boots crumbled from my feet (okay, so they fell apart in the first 50 yards, but still).

Weight at the end of this period: 318 lbs.